To Singlets
Written by: Archie
First Written: October 5, 2022
Last Edited: October 5, 2022
Original Post (Tumblr)
First Written: October 5, 2022
Last Edited: October 5, 2022
Original Post (Tumblr)
Content Warnings:
- Implied ableism.
- Mentions of ableist concepts.
Being out as plural is strange when singlets don’t understand.
Our uncle (who was told we were a system by our father without our knowledge) is... intrigued by us and scared of us at the same time. “I don’t know who I’m talking to” is something we get told by the parents that he says all the time, but he’s never voiced that concern directly to us.
The solution to that problem, the solution to all his fear, is really simple. He just has to ask us who is in control. We’d gladly give him enough information to lessen his fear. Even though we’ve asked the parents to pass that message on to him, he hasn’t been over at our house since the father told him about our plurality.
I can’t help but wonder if it’s us. There’s other possible explanations, but the fact that we’re plural seems the most likely as to why we haven’t seen him in months.
Now, we don’t necessarily like him all too much, so him not visiting is mostly fine by us, but it’s still not the nicest thing in the world to be treated like either an “interesting” lab rat, or a horror movie character. We’re not “intriguing”, we’re not “scary”, we’re just... People. That’s all we want to be.
Though we’re not here to be studied, I do wish singlets would ask us questions, and I wish they’d listen when we did get the chance to speak. Most questions asked to us, as long as they’re asked with good intentions in mind, would be completely fine--especially if it’s to help someone understand that we’re not a horror movie trope. Yes, we don’t owe anyone information about our system, but when there’s misinformation we’d like to clear up, we’d rather deal with questions than deal with being ghosted.
Half the time when we speak on our experiences, even when prompted, it feels like people’s preconceived notions of what plurality means dampens what we’re actually saying, and it ends up with us getting frustrated at not being listened to, and misinformation spreading regardless of our attempts to stop it. To put it bluntly, if you are a singlet, you don’t know better than systems due to not having that lived experience and you shouldn’t speak over them.
We have plenty of supportive singlet friends who care and ask questions and are respectful--to people like that, you’re amazing, keep doing what you’re doing. To people who aren’t sure where to start with what plurality means, who are scared and who want to know more, you need to ask questions, and you need to listen to the answers.
Our uncle (who was told we were a system by our father without our knowledge) is... intrigued by us and scared of us at the same time. “I don’t know who I’m talking to” is something we get told by the parents that he says all the time, but he’s never voiced that concern directly to us.
The solution to that problem, the solution to all his fear, is really simple. He just has to ask us who is in control. We’d gladly give him enough information to lessen his fear. Even though we’ve asked the parents to pass that message on to him, he hasn’t been over at our house since the father told him about our plurality.
I can’t help but wonder if it’s us. There’s other possible explanations, but the fact that we’re plural seems the most likely as to why we haven’t seen him in months.
Now, we don’t necessarily like him all too much, so him not visiting is mostly fine by us, but it’s still not the nicest thing in the world to be treated like either an “interesting” lab rat, or a horror movie character. We’re not “intriguing”, we’re not “scary”, we’re just... People. That’s all we want to be.
Though we’re not here to be studied, I do wish singlets would ask us questions, and I wish they’d listen when we did get the chance to speak. Most questions asked to us, as long as they’re asked with good intentions in mind, would be completely fine--especially if it’s to help someone understand that we’re not a horror movie trope. Yes, we don’t owe anyone information about our system, but when there’s misinformation we’d like to clear up, we’d rather deal with questions than deal with being ghosted.
Half the time when we speak on our experiences, even when prompted, it feels like people’s preconceived notions of what plurality means dampens what we’re actually saying, and it ends up with us getting frustrated at not being listened to, and misinformation spreading regardless of our attempts to stop it. To put it bluntly, if you are a singlet, you don’t know better than systems due to not having that lived experience and you shouldn’t speak over them.
We have plenty of supportive singlet friends who care and ask questions and are respectful--to people like that, you’re amazing, keep doing what you’re doing. To people who aren’t sure where to start with what plurality means, who are scared and who want to know more, you need to ask questions, and you need to listen to the answers.